WHY DID I ATTEND THIS PINOY PARTY?

Sear Auntie Patti Koh,

Last Wednesday 14 November, I was compelled to attend a birthday party of a co-worker of mine who is a Pinoy. I never and does not attend any gatherings of any of our Kababayans. I just want to be on the safe and I don't want to encounter any Kababayan who - for some reason has a different attitude when in the U.S.

So, we arrived on time, complete with a bottle of red wine that was the favorite of the birthday celebrant (my wife said so). We were dress up properly, because there was no formal invitation. We were invited by mouth by the office mate of my wife. She said her dad will be celebrating his 60th birthday and wanted to invite as many people as possible so that the old man will have fun.

When we arrived at the house of the celebrant, there were already plenty of cars at the driveway. I rung the doorbell, it was opened by one of the sister of my wife co-worker. My wife introduced herself and the office mate came to the door and greetings and "beso-beso" was formally done. We were asked to proceed to the banquet table, where there were lots of food on hand and there were plenty of people already, who presumably has already eaten, because some are watching the favorite TV show, "Dancing with the Stars" and the other group are all men inside the den of this big house, talking about things I cannot connect, so I just opted to stand behind the couch of the group of women and smuttering of men watching "Dancing....

I was so bored because I don't know anybody, plus I am really aloof in the midst of my Kababyans. I went to the kitchen, that has a dining table for 8 and sat down in the empty seat, while there was this Caucasian, seated in one of the chairs and was talking to these Pinay and across from this Caucasian is another Pinoy - who I think is related to this woman.

Conversation ensued and I was just listening. The Caucasian was saying she does not like the term "African American" because there is no such thing and the history of this word was just coined by somebody. The Pinay at the end of the table kept on staring at me as if she was challenging me to answer, but I won't dare because I don't know them and I just want to be in my corner of the world. Then questions about the Philippines was asked by this Caucasian lady. She was asking what ethnic category and origin the Pinoys came from. The Pinay across from me, blurted out and said we are Chinese. I looked at ther and asked the Caucasian lady permission to answer. I told her the history of the Pinoys and why we have brown color of skin and the reason we have hispanic names and culture. I explained to her the other racial blood that runs in the veins of the Pinoys. This Pinay kept on insisting that we have more chinese blood in us than that of Hispanic blood.

So I looked at this Pinay, and silently said to myself that this woman is a dumb bitch. I told this Caucasian lady, if the ethnic origin of the Pinoy is from the area of Pangasinan, especially in the Area of Binmaley, Urdaneta,and the towns closer to the Hundred Islands, they really have some Chinese blood in them because in the early part of the Philippine history (around 8th century) the Chinese is trading in the Philippines at the Pangasinan Province area headed by Limahong and even got married to the local princess named Princess Urduja. The Caucasian lady got so interested in my answer, so the conversation was centered between me and this Caucasian lady.

We discussed about the People's Power, religion to the point of me explaining why the Pinoys are branded to be dog eaters. When the Caucasian lady asked the host permission to leave, I stood up and shook her hands and said goodbye politely to her and she said it was a nice conversation.

When the Caucasian lady left, this Pinay seated with me on this table asked me blatantly...."Who are you and who invited you here?" I told her I was accompanying my wife who is the office mate of the daughter of the birthday celebrant. Then this Pinay asked me..."Have you been in the states for a long time?". I was becoming annoyed with the questioning of this woman. Then she continued on and said...."Well, you know I have been here since 1994". I still ignored her, then she asked me ...."Are you a green card holder or an American citizen?" I looked straight into the eyes of this Pinay and ansewered her...."First, I don't appreciate you asking me questions like that. That is none of your business, but since you started it, I want you to know, I have been in the United States for more than 40 years of my life. My dad is a Philippine scout attached witht he U.S.army during the war. I am an American and I don't have the habit of asking people questions that you have asked me". Then I stood up and walk to the foyer of the house and talked to the Caucasian son in law of the birthday celebrant and I was very happy and pleased I was talking to a more educated and more polite person in this party and I was in my element talking to this Caucasian guy. We have so many intersting things to talk about. Then this Pinay approached us and said to me...."Oh, you finally met the husband of my niece!". And then this Pinay added another stupid line...."Don't challenge my nephew in law to any historical lecture of yours because he is more intelligent than yours". I was about to answer this bitch, but I was motioned by this Caucasian to stop and he asked me to go to the basement of the house. Then he explained to me what kidn of a person this Pinay Aunt of her.

Then the saying of good byes and the thank you. My wife's co-worker asked me that he was so sorry that my dog Misty, who has been my dog for 17 years died. I was about to answer, when this Pinay butt into the coversation and said to me in Pinoy....."Baka pinaty mo ang aso mo!" I cannot help it anymore, so I answered back this Pinay...."You know, the dinner and the TV show was good, the conversation with that Caucasian lady was fine and intelligent, but the dealings and talk with you is like hell. It is as if I was talking to one of the representative of Lucifer on earth recruitingmore members like you!". Then I storm out of the door and walk into my car, my wife behind me.

My wife asked me what was the scene all about, so I explained it to her. Then she told me that she has forgotten to warn me about the Aunt of the co-worker who invited her to this birthday party.

And so Auntie Patti Koh, I swear to God, I will not attend anymore any of this Pinoy gatherings. They can say I am snotty - which I really don't care. I just don't want to encounter another ignorant bitch!