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Location: Chicago, United States

I am now at the prime of my life and have been married for the past 25 years. Sickly at times, but wants to see the elixir vita, so that I will be able to see my grandchildren from my two boys.

Thursday, August 17, 2006


Dear Auntie Pattie Koh,

The house is completely deserted. My youngest son left yesterday for his apartment closer to his school which is at least three hours ride from our house.

My eldest son is in his own apartment also, closer to his school.

During the day, I am all by myself in the house and my dog Misty. I sleep during the day, because I work during the night. My wife is all by herself at night with my dog Misty.

We dont' have the same days off. I always tell my wife to see to it that she locks up the house at night while I am not yet at home. We live in a nice neighborhood, but it is nice to be safe and secure also, just in case.

I cook for two, and there's lots of left over. I cannot feed it to my dog. I prefer to feed her -- her own dog food, so that she wont have any bad breathe. At times I cook and then freeze it, incase the boys wants to come over and eat, there is always food available.

We have some family friends that returned back fro Las Vegas after two years there. They sold the house and now returned back to Aurora, Illinois close to their work. I offered my house for them to stay until they have the closing of their house end of Sept. '06. They are staying at Extended Stay America in the mean time. They said it will be too far for work and the kids school.

I just wanted my wife to have company, especially at night.

And so Auntie Patti Koh, it is really the time, in America wherein parents becomes alone and at times neglected and forgotten by their children. I hope it won't happen to me and my wife.

I miss the life back home.
I miss the noise and the traffic in the house.

Am I sick or what?

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Dear Auntie Patti Koh,

My eldest son came to the house to see why I did not work for three days already. He was very worried. He came to the house and had his dinner. We talked, together with his mom, while he was having his dinner.

He was asking me if I could give another round trip ticket for his girlfriend who wants to come to Chicago and see him again. I was telling my eldest son that his girlfriend is coming very often and stays for such a long period of time with him. Not that I care, I told my son. What I wanted to know is if he is getting serious with this girlfriend of his. He was telling me and his mom that among the other girlfriends that he had before, this girl is the only one who talks to him and who listens to him and understand hid needs.

I told him that this coming 2nd week of September, me and his mom will go home to Pinas and visit his grandparents before I retire from the airline, this coming October '06. I will retire from this airline that I am presently working for, but will still continue working with another company, until I am on the retiring age to collect my social security pension from Uncle Sam.

Anyway, jokingly... I asked my son if it is time to buy his engagement ring and he told he that he will present first his girl friend to his grandparents in Pinas before buying an engagement ring.

My wife and I, just looked at each other. Deep inside, I know my wife is already thinking so many things in her mind. Just like any parents, we both know that sooner or later, we will loose our son to another woman, that will be his wife.

My son told me that his girlfriend wants to stay with him in Chicago and will just rent out her house in New Jersey. That was a plus for me. I am selfish... and I want my son to be close to me and my wife.

So Auntie Pattie is coming closer. My eldest son is already on his marrying age. He told me and his mom...."Dad...Mom...the greatest gift of all that I can give you, is a good wife who will respect you both and our culture".

I pretended that I was reading my book, but deep inside me, I had a lump in my throat. We did something good to this son of ours. What more could we ask for.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


Dear Auntie Patti Koh,

In one of the working nights at the office, while all the agents on the phone isnot that busy, one of my co-worker came to me and showed me a lump of the left side of her neck. She was asking me if I know anything about those kind of lumps. I was so shocked when I saw it, but did not showed any reaction to her. The first thing that came to my mind was the memory of my younger brother whom we buried last September of 05.

Same symptoms. I told this co-worker of mine to check with her primary doctor and ask for a referral to see an Oncologist. I told her what I had before and my brother. I was not trying to alarm her and explained to her why I was asking her to see the Oncologist.

Then three days after, she came to me again, and told me that the Oncologists told her that she has cancer of the stomach, liver and lungs. We sat down together, I felt like crying but did not show it to her. This is a very nice and very religious lady. We talked and said to her that she has to set her priorities straight now. I told her, not to stop working until she can feel that she cannot work anymore. I even told her what I did when I was diagnosed with the rare illness of (STN) Severe Trigeminal Neuralgia. I told her that she needs to get it out, but when she tells people about it, to make sure that she was not asking for pity.

I told her to check on all the insurances that she has, including the ones that is provided by the company. This nice lady is a widow, and she still has under her care, her grandson who is 5 years old. The mother of the little boy died and the child was awarded to her. Not to mention her youngest son who also has health problem.

She told me she will be checking all the insurances that she is carrying. I told her to check the beneficiaries while she is still strong and could do the things that she has to do. She was telling me that when she is talking to me, she is not scared. I told her it is okey to be scared. Nobody wants to die, especially if there are kids and children that will be left behind.

I have advised her as her union steward to check the (EAP) Employee Assistance Program and ask if she could avail of Long Term Disability when she starts her theraphy next week.

She was telling me that if she needs to go, she knows where she will be going. Her faith was very unreal. I have never seen a woman with such strong faith in her heart and in her religion.

Then she asked me about the cancer of my younger brother. After I have described to her the pain and suffering of my brother, she told me that she is scared but if that is the path set up for her ---- then so be it.

She was telling me that at night she is scared to close her eyes. The reason she comes to work, is to make herself stronger. Our work are getting all the calls from passengers who are a bunch of whinners and complainers. I told her, that these whinners are the ones who have given me the courage to go forward. I have this rare illness, and these passengers who are calling and complaining thinks that it is the end of the world for them. What a pity.

So Auntie Pattie Koh, I wish there are more comforting words that I could tell this friend of mine. She is such a nice and good lady. I told her, that her strength will be the ones that will give the right direction to her two children and her grandbaby.

I told her, it is natural to get scared of dying. Even people at the death row,who are wild men, bound to die in the electric chair or lethal injection are also scared. That is just showing that all of us, wants to be immortal also, in a way.

I will always think of this lady. I make all the time now for her, when we are at work and I always sit down with her during my break period. She wanted to talk.

Please dont let her suffer and give her even an ounch of miracle. Her faith is beyind compare.