IT STILL HURTS

Dear Auntie Patti Koh,

I will see my surgeon this 30th of July to see if the surgery is alright and if there is no further problem or complications.

While trying to let the hours and day pass, especially now that I am all alone, when the Physical Therapist and Nurse leaves the house after their daily routine check on me, I am again alone. I do some small things and light chores in the house if I am already bored of reading and watching the TV and pounding the computer. I decided to clear some of the files that I have in the filing cabinet inside the computer room/den in the house.

I tried to discard some of the file that has been inside the filing cabinet for ages, but not the income tax returns. I always keep it even it's already ten years old. One can never tell about the IRS of this country. So I pulled out some of the folder that is no longer used, then I saw a particular folder that does not have any title on it. I opened the folder and it was the death certificate of my kid brother who died two years ago. It brought memories again, when I was with him during the time he was having his chemo therapy at Manila Doctors Hospital. It was a sight that I don't want to go back to plus the sound of my kid brother crying and asking the doctor to stop. It was a dreadful event to recall and remember.

I placed the Death Certificate in another folder again and place it in the active files that I have. I don't want to throw it away. I guess I still want to cling on to the memories, even if it was so hard and painful. I cried in my room, me being all by myself made it more hard and painful. My dog was staring at me and most probably wondering what is happening with me.

And so Auntie Patti Koh, I think I am still mourning. The death of my brother still brings back memories that is not nice to remember. At least he is at peace now and no more pains and aches.

Requiem Aeternam Donaes Domine, Philip.


Sincerely Yours,

INFRATERNAM MEAM