STRANGE RELATIONSHIP

Dear Auntie Patti Koh,

People say that when they see a couple that looks very alike of each other, they are said to be compatible. Strange but I don't know if its true, I was reading an article in a Medical Journal, it says at times because of the prolong relationship of couples with each other, there is what you call the bombardment of molecules from each person's body that creates a facial similarity of the couple.

Sometimes also, this similarity becomes a prevailing thoughts and mode of thinking that the couples are very much into each other and understand and love each other.

I think I will disagree on that.

There are couples who wants to foster an image to show only to relatives and friends that everything is fine and dandy -- but inside, is like a steam from a boiling couldron that wanted to release the steam and bent all the hidden oxygen within the steam.

I wanted to release such steam, I wanted to open up the couldron inside me, I wanted to uncover the cover of the said couldron to let the angry steam to come forth and release its tension and bring forth a new space within the inside of me. I wish life could just be that simple -- specially married state of life and state of mind.

There are times, I was asking myself if I was in the right path of life or why am I here --- it's like I was suddenly awaken and there I am in a strange place, in a strange land, in a strange situation that I cannot leave and get away with. It's like I was dump or I have fallen in a big pool of quicksand, wherein the more I move, the more I get buried, slowly and painfully and painstakingly cannot get out of it.

That is the reason, Auntie Patti Koh, I wanted to go some place wherein there is no computer, no telephone, no television, nobody else except me and the natue around me. Maybe I will be able to see if there is really a quicksand that is engulfing me, and if there is still a chance to get out of that God foreaken mud.

THE RUMBLING FALL

Dear Auntie Patti Koh,


This evening, we were a little bit relax at work, even there were lots of calls from whinning passengers. We have to take a mental break from all the calls, so some of us, took turns to do something to relax our minds or else we will go nuts and loose our sanity at work with all the volumes of irate callers.

I was trying to read a book for a few minutes and there is this girl besides me in our four person cubicle who was playing with her needle works that she always take to work, in case we are not busy.

I tell you, this woman is so big, that she was given a chair that does not have an armrest or else she will not fit into it. Of course, there's quite a number of them at work, who have this type of problem --- big as beach whales.

Let us call her Myrna (not her real name). She was contineously playing with her needle work and caught off balance on her chair and she fell on the floor.

I swear to God, when she fell on the floor, it was like a rumble and a big and loud thunder came into the office and rattled my area where I was sitting. Nobody said a word. Myrna is trying to get up from the floor, but everytime she holds the chair, it will fall on her again. Nobody said anything and nobody did anything to help Myrna in her predicament. She was seated in the same cubicle as mine, and all of the girls are all staring at me.

To break the ice I said....."Sorry, honey --- I treasure my faily jewel. If I pick you up, that is the end of my clan". The entire floor started laughing and that was the only time everybody said something.

Myrna looked at me and said to me ..."Don't worry hon' I can manage. Now I know I cannot depend on you in case I get raped outside". The more the laughter ensued.

Pero, Auntie Patti Koh....she is as big as a walrus and I cannot really pick her up from the floor and help her stand. I am not into severe HERNIA!!

RETIRMENT PARTY FOR A PINOY CO-WORKER

Dear Auntie Pattie Koh,

I have this co-worker who retired today and was given a retirement cum Despedida party by her department and the Pinoy employees of the building.

Aling Cita, (not her real name) after working with my company for 38 years, now age 60 years old, decided it is time for her to retire and just collect her pension. She will be retiring at her son's home in Hawaii.

She carries with her the life time retirement benefit and that of her husband, and of course a retirment package from the company, flying free, anywhere our airlines fly. The pension is not that big cuz she did not retire at the rightful age required by the government of 62 years of age. She told me, her husband is already retired and asked her not to wait for 62 years old and just retire.

Plenty of food was served on the table, especially from the Pinoy community at work. From the Kano, there were chips and dip and pop corn and vegetable with their dips and of course pop drinks, and cakes.

From the Pinoy community, there was this Sontanghon, Pancit Bijon, Pancit Canton, Pancit Palabok and of course Spaghetti. All the Kano was so elated with the food that was brought by the Pinoys.

Pero Auntie Patti Koh.... all the food brought by the Kababayans are all practically the same, only different presentation. Do I need to eat and sample all of it?

I ate the chips and the vegetables with the dips.

WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?

Dear Auntie Patti Koh,

I went to the grocery with my wife this afternoon, because I was off from work and this is the only time my wife and I could go shopping together for food, because I work during the weekend.

We were heavy laden with groceries, and I was driving the grocery cart to the parking lot, which is a little bit away from the rest of the cars parked at the lot.

Right besides my SUV is an old american car, and there was this big African American man who was on the side of his car ---- and of course since his car is parked besides my car, I was startled. The area is still covered with snow, so there's not much people in the area were I parked.

Then this big man asked me: "Why are you looking at me"?

I got a little bit intimidated, and my wife could sense it, so she said to me in Tagalog, to let it be and let it pass. She said there is nothing I will gain if I argue with this Big Black Man.

I was really intimidated with the questioning of this man and the way he asked me about it.

So I asked him back :"How do you know I am looking at you --- Maybe you were the one looking at me that is the reason you know I was looking at you!".

This man shook his head and looked at me, and said: " Boy... you have a big problem!". Then he walked away from us and returned back to the grocery.

Then my wife and I took off.

Pero Auntie Patti Koh....will you blame me, if a Black man out of the blue appears infront of you and gets you startled. What will your reaction be.?

PINOY WAKE IN THE U.S.

Dear Auntie Patti Koh,

One of my wife's co-worker died. My wife said we have to attend the wake. In the state the wake is only for an x-amount of hours, then the funeral home will be closed and everybody goes back to their respective homes.

There is this particular funeral home, that has been the favorite of Pinoy families, to ask for their mortuary services.The owner is an Italian family and they got used to Pinoys bringing food and feeding those who comes to the funeral home and attend s the wake. The funeral director, was telling me, he decided to widen the coffee room, since he gets plenty of clientele from the Pilipino community in the greater Chicagoland area.

After sitting with the family of the departed and sharing their remembrance of the deceased, we were invited to the coffee room and share some snacks and light meals. So off to the coffee room.

When I entered the coffee room, I was surprised and shock-- it was like a fiesta with all the food that was on the table and they even have the food warmer on each type of food that they are serving. Getting closer to the food server, I noticed that the food that they are serving are....Dinuguan Bituka, Papaetan,(another animal entrails) and of course, one of the relative is boasting her Chicharon Bulaklak. Of course there were also Puto,other Kakanin, Sotanghon and the unforgettable Fruit Salad.

Pero Auntie Patti Koh...... I really cannot eat any INTERNAL ORGAN in a coffee room inside a funeral home.

Am I too much?

The Statement that I cannot figure out at First.

Dear Aunti Patti Koh,

I was off from work yesterday. So I went shopping for grocery. I cannot go to the wet market at China town, too far from home and it is so cold. I only go there if I have plenty of things to buy and if the supply at the house is running low.

Any way, I went to this big chain of supermarket in our area, and I saw this lady. From a far I know immediately that she is a Pinay. So I tried to avoid her, because I have a bad vibes immediately when I saw this woman from a far. I don't know why.

So I was on the other aisle checking on the cereal for my boys. Then I went to the vegetable area --- this lady is at the fruit section, with three other of her entourage. Looking closer to this lady, I could see she has plenty of "Antiwelas" in her body. I hope all the glitters in her body is real gold, or else if she passes at the airport metal detector wearing those "Antiwelas" it will sound the alarm.(Aray ko nanay!!)

At any rate, I went on my business, trying to check the fresh spinach and the cabbages. The Mrs. gave me a list of veggies to pick, then I heard this lady called out to her friends..... holding a bunch of fresh Thompson Green seedless grapes.

" Hey look at the GREEPE (GRAPE) FREEZE na FREZZE (Fresh na Fresh)."

So I ask myself....Waray kaya siya or Ilongga?

Auntie Patti Koh.... am I too bad to blog this or not?